- Other people work out for the benefits: relax, energize, and stay fit. When I work out, a friend observes, "You seem to only get the negative side effects."
- #1 of 25 illogically logical facts about me: I am not from Mars. Personally, I think the whole lot of you are all extraterrestrial.
- The sedan ahead of me sports a bumper sticker: Proud Parent of a SAILOR. I cannot help but picture a sailor-mouthed 12-year-old.
- I used to dream in French. At least in my dreams I could converse in French. Last night I dreamt that I was struggling with French alphabets.
- I hate gravity, but I missed it terribly when it wasn’t there.
- A blank TFA STEM alum profiling questionnaire stares at me as if asking its Judgement Day question: Have you been worthy?
- After much introspection on self-worth: "I am forsaken!" I exclaimed to my friend. He asked, "By God?" "No, by a celestial teapot."
- Lunch chat turned to Aboriginal tribes eating cats. I: "Feral cats have no fat. Unless you have house cats gone wild?" Coworker: "What porn have you been watching?!"
- A fortune cookie said to me, “You would prosper in the field of wacky inventions.” If it is a sign, then I need a bigger hint.
- My Polish friend averts surprises with his food; I prefer the unfamiliar and the exotic. Yet our lunch choices always seem identical.
- My journey through Ireland started in a library and ended in another library. I went in search of Ireland's William Butler Yeats; I came back after having discovered Dorothea Lange's Ireland.
- A cup of curdled cheese sat in the kitchen, but I didn’t buy any cheese. Then I recalled: it was a cup of milk for my breakfast from two weeks ago.
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Merry Christmas from Red Pen, Inc.
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Ahhh, Christmas. A time to visit with family and friends, give and receive
gifts, wear your ugly holiday sweaters and have fruitcake, and eat, eat,
eat. He...